18 til I Die

Last I checked, this was a (relatively) free country. Monash is a relatively relaxed university in terms of freedom of speech, freedom of action, and freedom of choice. Adequate rules and policies are in place to ensure non-extreme behaviour, but generally we students are let alone.

What really irks me is when some supposedly self-enlightened, pious, righteous somebodies try and impose their views, be it religious or otherwise, upon the other thousands of students in the university.

At this point, I have to make clear that I do respect all laws of religion. That forms the very basic right to choose. However, practicing one religion does not give you the right to impose your religious views on the thousands of others who are not of your religion, or do not share the same views.

I perfectly understand that most religions frown upon sex before marriage. And I understand that some practice abstinence. But I also do know lots of people who profess to follow a certain religion who do away with certain religious beliefs that they feel are encumbrances, this sex issue included.

So, people from CF, I don’t know who actually went to MUSA to complain about Durex sponsoring condoms, but I have to say this:- Just quit it, will you? University students are old enough to choose, nobody’s gonna start having sex just because a Durex condom is in their Monash Ball goodie bag. In fact, I think a proportion of them will be thanking heaven that a condom is there so they won’t have to risk doing it unprotected. Frankly, if Durex wasn’t around, there’d be more unplanned pregnancies than there are now.

Anyway, you can just choose to throw it away. Or ignore it. Or if you can’t stand seeing it in your goodie bag during the ball, come to table 3 and give it to me.

Sheesh.

I have nothing else to say about my absolute kebodohan at times. Showed up for the interview bright and early, WITHOUT bringing my resume. Panicked and nearly died. Luckily I remembered my certs and transcript otherwise I could have been applying for a cleaner’s job for all anyone cared. The interviewer was kind too.. but I’m always suspicious of too-nice interviewers. Heck for all you know, they might be nice cos they’re sympathetic cos they will not be giving you the job. He left the impression on me that this department I’m applying for is ‘chiu kap’ hard to get into. Suddenly I’m starting to want this job.

Sigh. We always want what’s coveted by others, especially those with a hint of ‘limited edition’ to it.

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Met up with Jess for lunch where we talked about working, working life (wat life?) and those growing up issues like car, house, credit card. Mostly it’s just about how to stretch our salary to cover it. In her generosity, she offloaded a whole carton of Fruit Tree drinks on me. Nearly broke my back carrying it up to my apartment.

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Now I have to go figure out how to do my Treasury assignment. I really doubt I can finish it by Friday.

Really cannot tahan already. Came home yesterday to find the power supply to my laptop shut off, thus forcing me to go through the whole process of whupping it to get it to wake up. This time, I took a whole hour yet I couldn’t get it to switch on. I went off to bed cursing it to kingdom come. After a couple of hard smacks this morning, it finally woke up and allowed me to use the internet. I think I ought to do something about it right? Leroy’s probably cursing that I didn’t take his advice.

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Was at Palace of the Golden Horses again yesterday as a tag-along for the food tasting thing. Couldn’t do nothing but grin cheesily when Dahlia said, "You’re just here for the food, aren’t you?" Ha ha ha. This is how my life has changed since MUSA last year. Busy, busy, busy this whole week. Really wanted to meet Jessica to catch up but unfortunately, the promise of a 7-star dinner at Palace lured me away. Anyone who wants to kidnap me just needs a fishing rod and some oysters or calamari as bait.That’s assuming anyone wants to kidnap a neurotic pest like me in the first place. We were halfway through the fried garoupa when I started to half wish I’d gone to Jess instead.

I’m not going to give spoilers on the food for Monash Ball, but we generally had a million suggestions to the chef yesterday night. Let’s cross our toes and hope they get implemented.

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The issue of the Ball table is now solved. Thanks Maurice and Sue. Lucky I managed to fill the places, and am even luckier that they’re people I know.

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I officially know how to barbecue meat now. Up until SengWei’s birthday on Saturday, my knowledge of BBQ-ing was sadly limited to theories and observations and just standing by yelling instructions to the poor sweaty person trying to start the fire. But that day, I skewered my first chicken and cooked it just nice. Bangga betul.

So.. while we were waiting for Chia Chin who was taking forever to come pick us up.. this happened..

Hui was quite pissed at the entire male race that night, so who better to take her anger out on than a member of the male race itself?

I smoked my first ciggie that night too..

NOT!!!

Never in my life okay. Even though the two closest people I know work part time as chimneys.

Highlight of the night…

Most of them ate it except me. I honestly was having indigestion after gorging myself crazy. I went home feeling like a puffer fish, and the bloated feeling kept me way up during the night.

I have two seats on my table for the Monash Ball as some poopy friends of friends pulled out at the last minute without informing me. This is what I hate about getting friends of friends, its so hard to keep track of them especially when it comes to payment and stuff.

Anyhow, my table is number 3 right up there in the first row. Call me if you know my number, leave me a message on Friendster, or MSN. Tomorrow we have to pay up to ensure early bird prices. I can pay for you first, but just give me your confirmation.

It’s nearly 2:15am and I’m waiting for my hair to dry so I can just collapse on the bed and sleep til the weekend is over. Today was the hottest and wettest day ever and the Street Party HAD to be on, lah.

Felt kinda charitable this morning so I decided to hop over to offer my ‘kuli’ help. Hey, Street Party is for charity okay, and I feel guilty that I ffk-ed Shirley for the Taman Megah sale last week.

So at 6 it started to rain. You could actually tell who were the MUSA people just by looking around at the faces. Those in MUSA looked like their favourite pet hamster had just been run over by a truck. By 7pm, it got heavier, and at that time, I got stuck in the… storage tent. With the two emcees (JJ or J-squared as they prefer to be known) constantly sneaking ‘pervy’ glances at the hot bods of the hip hop dancer chicks practicing in a corner of the tent.

Aih, tengok hujan pun lagi syok.

That was just the beginning.

This was the rain at its max, while they were doing soundcheck.

The fellas sit there macam malas edi; stupid rain dampened everyone’s mood.

I was stoning in that tent for like forever.

Then the rain slowed to a drizzle and people began to show signs of life. Either that, or they were really hungry. The Tennis Club’s Beef Bulgogi catered from an authentic Korean restaurant opposite the Australian embassy was the ultimate yummiest. The most exotic crowd-puller in the food category had to be

Tracy’s chocolate fountain. I was so desperate to get my hands on the strawberry fondue that I was first in the queue.

I guess the most value-for-money would be the…. urm… the MBC’s Ramly burger. Ha ha. I got it for free after midnight. I think it should be called value-for-no-money-at-all. But it’s good; I’m eating it now and for something about 6 hours old, it’s still quite firm and not all over the place. I sound like I’m talking about tits.

CPA Club has a really queer way of going about doing charity work. They had this ‘donate money for a go at catching fish’ thing going on, and you get to keep the fish you manage to catch. The thing is, most of the people who caught the fish did not rear fish at home. Never mind, as Chor Min Ex CPA president put it, "They sacrificed their lives for a good cause." Amen to that.

Carven belanja me one round and I was trying to catch some because I wanted a fish Ramly burger, but I guess I’m just too slow. Even at home when I want to wash the fish tank, trying to scoop the fishies out into a pail takes ages.

Bumped into Siew Bing and Yvonne. It’s funny how that we hung out like every day in Australia but when we get back, we both have our own group of friends.

Weird, kan? Or maybe I’m just anti-social.

Then I go watch Lightcraft perform, and got their CD since I liked their songs so much. I could have just burned them from the demo CD they handed in for the audition, but, nah. For once, I support the original music industry. Enrico and the rest were kind enough to autograph it for me; I felt awfully like a groupie, but what the hell rite.

Watching J-squared in action.

Aries, whose birthday I missed last week (many sorries dude! we know what happened), J and I.

I have this really stupid thing with funny food and places with funny names (remember the BlowHole in Tasmania) and I just can’t resist taking silly pictures. Everyone already give up on me. 

This HAS got to be the UGLIEST photo of myself ever. But the choc banana fondue was amazing.

Ok, that’s it. My hair’s partially dry, the Ramly burger in my tummy is giving me the sleepy buzz, and I’m beat.

My luck nowadays is rather mixed. No, I’m not talking about Lindsay Lohan’s crappiest production to date since I saw her as a little girl in The Parent Trap. The concept of ‘progressive improvement’ apparently did not occur to her.

Anyway, it IS possible to have news from two extreme ends of the spectrum in one day. Just this day last week, I prayed (to whoever who would listen, as usual) that if the wish I wanted came true, I’d gladly forgo the other more superficial option. In that prayer, I chose one over the other. And I promised that if I got the one I chose, I’d be happy even if I did not get the other one.

Now I think my prayer was a bit too general. But nevertheless, my wish technically came true. I just must remember the importance of precise wishes as taught by the many ‘genie and the magic lamps’ stories.

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What with assignments, interviews ladidaladida coming up in the next few weeks, it sure feels like last year all over again. Minus a whole lot of frustration. Talked to Ben Han and Yvonne and it seems everyone’s going through the whole job application and career confusion process.

As long as I am not alone. Things are so much easier to face when you know somebody else is in the same pail of shit. Final semester students, in my opinion, are neither here nor there. The lost souls who meander the world not knowing where to find that which they seek, being neither flesh nor spirit. Ok, I didn’t mean for it to sound so gory. I just meant to say we don’t really belong to Monash, but we don’t really belong to the working world as well.

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Other than that, things are looking up. The rain outside is coming down in torrents, and the apartment looks dim and cosy. I’m having my favourite Fruit Tree drink, Katie Melua is driving me close to crazy and Tom Friedman is about to tell me why he thinks ‘The World Is Flat’. My new box of puzzles is begging to be opened, but that’s a treat I’ll leave for later.

It’s been a long, long week.

First there was that insane happening with the dress in that shop. Mom and I were in one of the many shops in One U and I saw this bohemian spaghetti dress that looked worth trying. The sizes appeared rather big so I grabbed a size 2. HooHoo. Big mistake. I managed to slip it on over my head without much problems, and the dress fit well. But I got stuck in the changing room for 20 sweaty minutes trying to pull the dress up over my boobs. Apparently I put on weight in the time I was in the changing room. Mom called me, as she was already in another shop and wondering where I was.

"Mom, you have to come and cut me out of this dress. Serious, please save me."

Then came the soap opera extraordinaire at the Monash Ball pageant selection interview on Saturday. I somehow thought that the girl was trying to play the sympathy vote, and from the looks on the faces of the rest, it seems they were thinking the same thing too. But ‘desperation’ and ‘wannabe’ behaviour was not enough to exclude her from selection so she got in. I mean, it’s seriously disgusting. There are so many other people whose super-rich families have lost everything in the stock market crash and whose parents have argued like hell on earth til they divorced but never do they utter one word. It’s not because they don’t dare to air their dirty laundry in public. It’s because they don’t need to use that to prove to other people that they are tough and strong and that they have weathered unimaginable emotional storms. 

I think I’m upset because El Desperado and I share a similar background and experiences but she had to go and embarass herself like that. I would have had more respect for her if she hadn’t cried after saying she was tough and all.

Sheesh.

Then it was back to Melaka for me on Monday to show Ralf and Eva around who were stopping over while on their long trip in Asia. They loved the chicken rice balls and the satay celup. We went on a slow drive out of town as Eva wanted to see kampung houses. I nearly hit the car in front of me in shock when Eva squealed as she saw… the sea.

When I stared at her, she shrugged shyly and said "I can’t help it. In Austria we have no sea."

Rushed up to KL on Tuesday as I was supposed to emcee the ball showcase together with John, but a massive traffic fuckup at Sungai Besi made me late so I texted Nat to ask someone else. Clinique was having this ultra-cheap sale of its goodie packs so I got one for mom as a surprise present.

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I’m ADDICTED. To Insaniquarium! My initial scepticism about the amount of fun a fish game could actually elicit from me has all but disappeared.

I woke up early this morning sweating and trembling from head to toe. It was a ghastly dream, the worse I’ve had ever since I moved in here. My hands immediately went to two things, my bear and my crystal pendant. Then I realized that my crystal pendant wasn’t around my neck as it usually was. In that moment of sleepy delirium, I couldn’t remember what happened to it.

10 minutes later I remembered, and then took it out of a thefaceshop paper bag on my desk. I’d taken it off because it clashed terribly with a dress I wore during the day.

I lay down in bed, trying to slow my crazy heartbeat. But sleep was not to come, because (and I swear I really heard it) I heard screams. It sounded like it was coming from outside, from my open balcony doors. A male scream, 4 times.

"Aaaah Aaaah Aaaah Aaaah!"

Then all was quiet. I nearly lost my mind. Remembered the guy who jumped off the Lagoonview penthouse about two years ago. Now there is a version saying he was murdered. But honestly, I don’t know. Respect those who are gone.

Thanks for wasting your credit to talk to me cos I had zero left. I was actually scared because of this, but I told you it was because I slept too much and was bored. I appreciate your help.

I keep reminding myself that change is a constant. Over and over and over again.

Please God. Anyone.

Give me the strength to get through the tough times by myself. The strength to be happy again.

I got this from a blog that I can’t remember how I got there. It was a primary school friend’s and her (ex, i think) boyfriend’s joint blog.

Please don’t let me be the only one who collapsed in convulsing giggles.

*screams* Walked past Parkson KLCC and saw a Benefit cosmetics counter. This just shows how long I have not ventured into that part of the city. I love globalization. It’s what makes Benefit available here, yummy dimsum available in SharkFin House Melbourne, and the fact that most major blockbusters open simultaneously worldwide.

Frankly, it was the best thing that happened to me today. Yup, Jacinda’s counting the littlest blessings now. Ok, off to clear some mess, both in my head, and in my room (it kinda looks like the devastated scene after the aliens blasted everything to hell in War Of The Worlds)