18 til I Die

Taking 2nd place in my Most Hated List of things is the existence of Academic Freeloaders. One type is the f**king lansi bitch/dude who attends lextures and puts on the air of ‘im here but this doesn’t mean a fuck to me’ but at the end of semester leeches on to others trying to get tips, or notes. And beware if you look particularly nerdy. Those people are gonna come to you in hordes. Another type is those who, through no fault of theirs, happened to end up with the lousy tutor or if the subject is shared, the lousy lecturer. Thus they don’t get the tips, or valuable info. My animosity towards the 2nd type is infinitely less than what I feel towards the 1st type. I generally have an unpleasant look on my face towards the end of semester to put off any people even daring to ask me (not that I think I have all the answers la, but I do make the effort). But still cannot avoid THOSE PEOPLE. I have found myself in a position where I have to give this girl some important sheets of paper which I think will come out for the exam. Thank God she’s the 2nd type. But I admit, I did look at her quite critically when she asked me. Can’t help it lar. I just don’t understand why some people just can’t make things happen by themselves without pai seh-ing themselves to go ask a stranger. Kawan, tak apa lah. Cos among friends is a two-way sharing thing wat.

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Maybank finally replied me with somewhat good news (conditional on my final results as usual). Looks like my IQ is not that ’single-digit’ as I initially thought. *shudder* I really have damn bad experience with IQ tests. Failed miserably at one when I was undergoing selection process for the ASEAN scholarship. I get so sick of the stupid shapes that I just ‘tembak’. Apparently, that makes you look even stupider. I heard it’s better to just leave the question unanswered.

Ernst & Young can’t give me Corporate Finance cos there no vacancies available as yet. What they can offer is Corporate Restructuring. I’m still thinking about it. Jason asked me to say yes, yes to anything first. But it would look kinda irresponsible if in the end I reject the offer right. think somore la.. later end up no job then c u die anot. not like youre the only person who is applying for jobs la. <— (my subconscious)

Apply for job early also stress. Apply for job late also stress. Life is so complicated, lar. I miss kindergarten. At least the only thing I stressed about then was whether I could beat that idiot boy in the race to see who can climb to the top of the jungle gym first.

Went to IBF lecture today and suddenly thought of sumthing I’d wanted to ask Yvonne.

Me: "Yvonne ar, just curious ar, how many percent was that Bacardi 151 shots I took that nite ar?"

Yvonne: -_- "You wouldn’t want to know lah."

Me: "Tell la."

Yvonne: "75%."

Me: O_O !!!

Frick. That 75% crap practically dried my veins.

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Proof that I’m cured of alcohol/wanting to drink: There is a farewell celebration for exchange students at Champagne Lounge tomorrow, and I feel NOT THE SLIGHTEST wish to go.

WOOOO.. impressed or not???

Mom will be so proud of me. She actually texted me that night I got wasted thanking me for the Mother’s Day card (yeah it finally reached) and for the life of me, I can’t remember wat I replied.

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I heard of this corny pickup line and response the other day from a friend (cannot disclose who is that for privacy reasons)

Guy: "I want to eat you."

Girl: "Sorry, I’m not on the menu."

-_-" And this really occurred okay.

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It was my turn to clean the house this week. I was so abso-fucking-lutely dreading the task cos the last time I did it, it took three hours and I couldn’t stare at a sink hole without getting images of clogged hair and subsequently wanting to throw up. Toyed with the idea of calling in a cleaner but when I checked my account balance on NetBank, I straightaway went out searching for the disposable gloves and the mop and the cleaning soap. Wasn’t so bad this time.. I only took two hours. The boy damn happy lar, cos he thinks it will train me for future cleaning of his room. Dunno where he got that idea from. heehee.

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Just read MalaysiaToday and saw that Tun Dr Mahathir gave an interview on Malaysiakini (wawawa hot news!) talking about how his views are being censored in mainstream papers. Dude, you started it okay. And the funny part is that the Tun damn kenot stand Malaysiakini when he was in power. The situation has changed, another PM is in power, and its now Tun vs PM Abdullah and PM Abdullah (or is it Khairy?? wah panjang cerita la kalau mau cakap ttg Khairy) vs non-mainstream media. So its true then. The enemy of your enemy is your friend.

First, many thanks and hugs to Jessica who kindly went to get the cake for Jason’s birthday celebration thingie.. and to Huei Ying for kindly providing the money .. hehe. And the rest, just for being there. I cant believe you guys finished all the cake.

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My IBF lecturer was showing some transparencies on statistics about the rankings of countries in terms of corruption. Don’t even ask me where Malaysia is lah okay. Damn paiseh. He started saying:-

"Ok.. as you all can see the countries in the extreme north and extreme south of the world like finland, norway and new zealand are the so-called ‘cleanest’ countries cos they are supposedly corruption-free."

Hmmm.. yeah yeah.. okay..

"But then, these are countries, like New Zealand, for example, that have more sheep than humans. The ratio is like about 20 sheep to every person."

-_-’

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Yvonne: "Oi, you okay anot?? How are you?"

Me: "I feel so fucked up. Been lying in bed whole day.. fuck this is the first time I ever puked cos of drinking.. First time I feel so fucked up.."

(repeat same sentence over and over again)

I have finally found my alcohol limit. Funny, it is only by going over the limit that we know where our limit is. And even right now I don’t think it was the amount I consumed. It was the fact that it was alco mixed with wine from dinner at the Italian joint on Lygon St.

This shit happened on Friday night. Was Kiat’s birthday and we took him out to dinner. Felt in the mood for wine so I had a Sauvignon Blanc. Then we decided to check out Trader Bar near the corner of Collins and Exhibition. The entrance is in an alleyway off the main road. Okay, the deco is nice, but the music is not friendly to my rnb ears.

Dat time still sober. Had a vodka lime. All of us happy happy. So the general review of Trader can be summed up in one sentence. "Place damn kao hard to find, music pula damn kao ‘lan jiao’." Ok, I’m not gonna reveal who said that.

We decided to go check out Amber, but upon reaching there, we got damn put off. Not by the fact that there was a crowd. But by the fact that there was a crowd EVEN though the event that night was 60s/70s nite. Or sth equally ancient sounding.

So we ended up in Heist where I shot my pH balance straight to hell. Whoever has drank 151 before, you can understand my situation lar. And I not only had 2 151 shots but, also tequila shots and a whole long menu-worthy list.

At this point, I must stress that I do not have a drinking problem. I am NOT normally like this. But serious, I did some thinking today. After puking and lying down in a spinning bed all day Saturday, I have finally understood what it means to be pissed drunk, and what a hangover really is.

Anybody who peeped into my room yesterday would have seen me looking like dis. The whole friggin day.

So anyways, I am so off alco. Frick, cant even think of the words 151/shots/tequila/puke without getting woozy all over again. I won’t be able to smell alco for weeks.

Forgive me, for I have sinned.

Terasa macam mau lari dari rumah. Tapi entah nak pergi ke mana.

Terasa macam mau makan ais krim. Tapi entah nak makan flavour apa.

———– ok im going nuts ——————-

Today the whole house damn havoc. Matched my mood. Heehee. Pavan was YELLING at the IELTS test ppl cos they wrongly withheld his 50 bucks deposit, Cheryl was YELLING at HERSELF cos she left her keys in her room for what must be the thousandth time this semester, and I was YELLING .. yeah, cukupla tu.

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Stoopid Frenchie tutor keep picking on me today. K lah, I’m not like that Hermione-like girl who sits in front and keep answering your question until she is like your pet, and everyone damn tu lan her.. Did I look like I know shit about securitisation and mortgage insurance and how it works? All just cos I was having a nice conversation yabbering with Ken in the back row la.

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Should I go to 7-11 for some ice cream ar? ……. Dont wan la. Sked kena mugged.

Yup. It’s confirmed. I’m going nuts. I talk to myself. (shtoopid exam la, or isit cos nobody layan haha)

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PS Im not a kid. Don’t patronize me.

When I write this, I’m thinking of people who seemingly have the gifted ability to ignore, or turn a blind eye to other people’s feelings, thinking that they are the only ones who have a right to feel that way in the first place, because of certain circumstances. I don’t really have an example for you cos people like this are so few and far between you’d be hardpressed to find them. But when you find them, you naturally know.

Those kind that are so one-track mind, that when anything happens to slightly offend their so-called lofty principles, they close their mind immediately and deem an injustice being done to them. Even though it was mitigated by the fact that THEY DESERVED IT. Or even if they didn’t deserve it, the other person at least thought they did, since no effort was being made to explain.

Lastly, isn’t it a universal fact that respect is a two way thing? I seriously cannot respect or look up to a person who doesn’t treat my feelings with respect or who doesn’t care for me as much as I care for the person. Either ways, lah.

When you get upset, aku macam udang gila kena pujuk you. When I’m upset, even for some small reason, I get a scolding. Don’t even talk about reassurance la. I don’t even smell it.

Bladi KNS.

To those of you guys rolling your eyes and saying PMS, well id say it could be, or it could be an underlying malignancy which shows a real problem. Either way, I’m kinda curious to see what the majority will say this time.

As many a person has said before, things sometimes come from the places you least expect it from, and don’t appear from the direction you were hoping it to be from.

Thinking back, I guess what was said three years ago still stands. There’s always space. There always will be. Thanks for being my black hole. Haha. Though I can’t take your advice, as our opinions on that issue differ.

And thanks sam. i was swimming with rage, yet you completely ignored the stay away nickname on my msn.. and asked if im okay. I will be.

After I throw a coupla books at the wall, and maybe break my speakers in half.

So say the pessimists. Those who don’t leave the job they hate cos theyre scared they can’t make a living doing what they love. The girl who shuts up about letting the guy know that she does, has and always will like him. Then come the people who seem to live on E, who say that life is best lived on the edge. That you learn, and achieve the most, when you take risks. Kinda makes sense actually, since we all learn in Financial Management that you get a higher return on higher risk.

Of course, some of us should really take a good dose of Prudence now and then, but for the remainder of us, what we really need is a shot of tequila. To make us go for it. Not advocating alcoholism here, but there’s never been a feeling better than the high you get from a night of ‘mabuk-ing’ with friends.

You know what started all this thoughts? Two events. Was in Koko Black today deciding between my usual hot chocolate or a temptatious-sounding concoction called ‘Winter Chilli blend’. Between the safe and the unknown, I chose the unknown. And it sucked. Think hot chocolate with flecks of chilli powder swimming around in it. The next thing. Pavan has been making eyes at this girl he always bumps to in the gym but has never gotten the guts to talk to her. So here he’s playing safe. And I’d say it’s a worse situation than having to drink a chilli flavoured drink that you PAID for. The difference is the knowledge or lesson learnt. And the payoff, as well.

To put it in a simpler way, always choose the unknown, within the realm of reason la, of course. You lose, you learn a lesson and become smarter at doing things the next time around. You win, the payoff is gonna taste damn effing sweet.

Really pity girls who are named Prudence. How happy can you be being reminded every single day of your unfortunate association with a lackluster, albeit estimable quality? By naming you that, your parents have just condemned you to an image that you can never ever hope to gain redemption from.

Imagine. Your nickname would be .. god forbid, Prude. I say this cos I personally would die a thousand deaths if my mom had named me Prudence (i already have problem with the name Jacinda), so if you’re a Prudence or you know any hot, luscious and crazy chica called Prudence, come here and change my mind.

War was declared today. Between the northeast sector and the southwest sector of the house. The site of the battle took place in the area just outside the dark blue room, whose poor occupant dared not venture out the whole day for fear of getting caught in the crossfire.

At 1015am-Bangladeshi housemate: "Hey, did you switch off the heater?"

Me: "Nope. Pavan did it." (actually it was me)

At 1130am-Pavan: "Hey did you see who put the thermostat to such a freaking high temperature?"

Me: "Of course. One of the Bangladeshi guys. He keeps doing that." (hey it really wasn’t me this time)

Pavan: "Wtf."

Coupla hours later I hear raised voices outside my room. Words like "thermostat", "too bloody hot", "this is unfair", "some people feel cold okay" could be heard. I stifle an evil giggle and continue munching on my choc chip cookies while doing an AD-AS curve analysis.

Jessica has confirmed her trip to Melbourne to come see me. We’ll be flying back together. The deal is I provide her a place to crash and she gives me some of her baggage allowance. Buahaha. No need think twice about buying stuff now. All thats left for me to buy is some cosmetics for mom and auntie and maybe myself.. Hui Ling works in a shipping company and I forgot if its her company or the one near hers, that has a daily sale of overstocked MAC, Estee Lauder, Clinique skincare and makeup stuff. Imagine la.. MAC blusher and eyeshadow at 5 bucks each. Damn can die and go to heaven. Somemore not close to expiry also.

Dat ding dong Dazzle just called me and asked me if I wana cut hair with her at Chaddy tomorrow anot.

"Oi, tomorrow wan go cut hair with me at Chadstone?"

"Eh, last week you just asked me that. And den when I said ok on Friday, you dun wana go pulak!"

"Now I wana go lah. Come la."

You see la. Potong stim or not.

I never thought I’d say this. It’s so HOT here. I’mma sweating. Some idiot raised the heater temp to 27 degrees. I must put a stop to it. This has been happening for so many days. When I lower the thermostat to 20, somehow it finds its way back to 27 again. I suspect the Bangladeshis in the master bedroom. The heater control is just outside my room. I will stake out the place tonight.                     ———————————————-

Tried to ‘rajin’ and do a study session in the library just now. Only got as far as one chapter when the couple in front me started moshing with each other. I wish a thousand hernias upon you.                                                             ——————————————-

Suddenly thought of the trip to Mornington. I found the reddest, cutest, Smurflike toadstools ever.

First, pose a bit.

Then, pretend to eat the toadstool. Yi Min damn layan, taking all the pics for me…

Finally………………

Hey. IT WASNT ME. Yvonne was still hungry.

Buahaha.

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Ok. Serious thoughts. Have you ever wondered where or who you’d be if you weren’t where or who you are right now? Do you ever wish you were somebody else, had their lives? I’m no Zen master at deep questions in Life, but I kinda sometimes feel that if I wasn’t born Malaysian, I’d be born in a minuscule Greek island where my parents ran the local fresh fish shop, inherited from ancestors since the island was founded. I also wonder if I’d be where I am if I hadn’t made certain choices in Life. Have you? Maybe if you chose to go to Sedaya International instead of Monash Malaysia you’d have met a more cun girlfriend than the one you have right now. Or maybe if you had chosen to leave the club when you knew you had enough to drink, you wouldn’t have ended up making the horrific mistake of sleeping with the stranger you met who, in daylight, looks like the offspring of Frankenstein and Morticia Addams.

Then comes the oft-talked about question. Do we take the overused, 3 lane, and frequently congested tar freeways, or the little path through the clearing with barely a hint of past footsteps?

Robert Frost’s "The Road Less Travelled" was resounding in my head when I took this picture. I understand the poem much better now compared to when I was forced to memorise it for the stupid Form 3 English reader.

My graduation trip is planned already. If I can get the WorldTrip airtickets in Malaysia, I’ll maybe stop in London. I miss you waggishers so much… Then its wahey for Vegas, San Diego and Tijuana. (don’t tell my mom I’m including Tijuana in my itinerary. she’d jail me) And this time, I am gonna freakin run down Nob Hill in San Francisco and see if I don’t trip and roll down instead. Who wana join? Looking for one person. Accomodation free. You just have to help me carry my bags, and take my photos. Haha. If my boy wants to go, then sorry lah. Ish. So super free la. Still so many more months to go. In Malaysia, dream of Melbourne. In Melbourne, dream of US. Freako.

Syed the SuperPlanner (syedibrahimsha.blogspot.com) got me to go to Jak’s surprise 23rd birthday in his house two nights ago. I had just realized that I’d fucked up (yesh, the depth of the emotion I was feeling necessitates the use of that word) in calculating the Sharpe ratio (don’t ask me, i already forgot wat it is) for the assignment report and wasn’t really in the mood to happify myself and see others happyfied. But I still went, cos they’re friends, and cos I only stay about 30 paces away from their place.

Wait, stray away for awhile. I realized that the base word ‘fuck’ can be a noun, a verb and an adjective. "You’re a fuck." (NOUN). "He’s fucking her." (VERB) "What a fucking hot ride." (adjective). Kids, this is a simple application of the English concepts u learn at school. Use in your next test to blow your teacher away. Don’t ask me wats the meaning of verb or adjective. You should know. Yes, even to you, my 19, 20 and 20sumthing friends.

I didn’t know most of the people there, I was wearing my pajamas, I hadn’t combed my hair after pulling at it in frustration, taking happy birthday photos in a bunch of appropriately clad 20 sumthings where even the girl with the least makeup had mascara on. At least Jak was in his baju tidur also. Haha. The most drastic thing to happen to him was his shorts being pulled down. Its ok. I din c. Even if I did, I wouldn’t admit it.

————————–                                                                           Talk about ironic. DaKaveyo is in such a funk right now. Cos he’s still recovering from getting served by Love a couple months back. Yet he was appointed to be emcee at his auntie’s wedding in Penang this weekend. I feel for you, man.

P.S: J thinks there is nothing wrong with my celebrating a birthday at LaundryBar. On normal occasions okay la, but for a birthday, I’d feel like I’m sitting in my outhouse waiting for my clothes in the dryer. I really don’t know of a nice (and new!) place lar. Don’t want to go back to Bar Sa vanh again.

Love this pic so much. Snow in Bangsar on NY Eve.