18 til I Die

Whats the opposite of climax? Why, anti-climax of course. But it is funny how the former word can be used to describe an act of sex, but the latter is totally unheard of. I know.. (sorry look) my thoughts wander far and wide these days…

I was just commenting to myself that the day tour I went on, which I paid 110 for, was quite worth it. Then I logged into my student email and found a note from the Monash Exchange Club offering a 2day 1 night trip to Great Ocean Road for 75 dollars. To say I flipped would be a major understatement. It is just news like this that makes your shoulder slump and your jaw fall wide open at the unbelievability of it all. I ranted to anyone who would listen.

Classes have started. My take on it is that it’s pretty much the same as lectures in Malaysia. Can’t comment on tutes as I haven’t been to one yet. I engaged in my usual pastime during lectures: dozing off amidst the drone of the lecturer’s voice. Only roused to jot down a couple of notes or two that managed to penetrate through the foggy recesses of my brain, then promptly lulled off again.

Different story when it comes to the library though. I LOVE the library. Yes, I’m such a nerd, eh? Hehe. No matter. I borrowed a book called ‘Greenspan’s Fraud’ which basically tries to discredit him and his policies, to prove that they only caused more harm than good. Haven’t gotten far enough yet to form a concrete opinion, but it’s refreshing to read a book that doesn’t commend Greenspan to the point of soppy idolatry. For once. Ok, to try and possibly reduce my image as being a myopic nerdo, I also borrowed 2 chick lit’s.

Hey try pronouncing ‘chick lit’ very very quickly, take away the ‘chi’ and see what you end up with. Ha ha. Something I thought of while during Investments lecture just now.

My need for a good conversation has been satisfied, after having lunch with Adam the guy from US. Good conversation in my standards would mean the trading of opinions on the state of US political affairs/elections, world politics in general, yada yada. Normal conversation would be like ‘oh my god, please tell me what happened in Desperate Housewives last night!!’ or disputing the benefits of brown rice vis a vis white rice. Don’t get me wrong, I’m just like any other 22 year old you know. It’s just that sometimes after reading so much Time and Economist, you’re dying to discuss what you think with someone else. It is so not fun having a conversation by yourself.

I’m cooking tonite. Korean noodles. Something simple since I have yet to bounce back from the disappointment of my laksa tasting more of coconut milk than laksa. And the fact that Ming did not like my bak kut teh. But it’s not that the bak kut teh wasnt cooked well. The poor Shanghainese girl has never eaten it in her entire life. (whisper-there she goes again, living in denial)

I went yesterday to Great Ocean Road, for a whirlwind day tour. Since pictures say a thousand words, here’s Syed and I at the archway. I started out the day yawning as I haven’t had proper sleep for the past 3 days, thanks to going out all the time. Note to self: Time to chill, yo. I’m a monster when I’m sick. And it’s worse since Jason is not here for me to terrorize.

We went to Bells Beach, passed through the seaside town of Lorne, and on to Apollo Bay for lunch. For me, the highlight of the trip wasn’t so much the 12 Apostles, seeing as theyre all made up of stone and rock and some dead fossils, but it was Loch Ard Gorge that appealed to my love of a good story.

—-story time— It was somewhere in the 1800s that a ship was sailing from England, carrying some cargo and passengers. Among the passengers were the Carmichael family, of which the youngest daughter, Eva Carmichael would have a prominent role in this tale. There was also a crewman, by the name of Tom Pearce. At that time, there were not many lighthouses about in the Southern Ocean surrounding the coast of Australia. The skies were cloudy, there was perpetual thick fog surrounding the ship (note: think the fog that surrounded the ship before they reached the secret island in King Kong) and the crew had to navigate based on instinct whenever the stars were shrouded from their eyes.

Of course, things like distance radar were completely unheard of at that time. The captain of the ship had a sense that they were very close to coast of Australia, based on what, I don’t know. I guess he just compared the number of days since he sailed from England to the normal length of time it would take to make such a journey. Pretty dangerous if you ask me. Anyway, he felt quite sure they were really near the Australian coast. However, due to the thick fog that eliminated visibility in all directions, all he could do was to command his crew to move cautiously at the slowest possible speed.

Of course, little did he know how CLOSE they were to the coast. That evening, a crewman on watch spotted huge rocks looming up. They had sailed too close to shore. The captain tried to change course, but the vicious undercurrents pulled them in to land. The ship hit the rocks and sank in a gorge; Loch Ard Gorge. Tom Pearce must’ve been Ian Thorpe or something because he managed to swim despite the strong current sucking him underwater. He managed to get close to land when he heard a female scream for help. It was Eva Carmichael, who was trapped in the tide in a cave close to the beach. Of course he saved her, what else? Anyway, when dawn broke, it was pretty clear that they were the only two who survived. He scaled the cliff walls and went to get help. You would think that they probably would have ended up together after going through such a traumatic incident, but no, this is real life, honey. Even if they were in the Victorian era. Eva returned to England, and Tom continued sailing the seas.

That there is the gorge in which the ship got wedged in and sank. Just look at the cliffs. I wonder how Tom managed to climb those cliffs to go for help.

——–it’s a true story ok, for those who are wondering—

I thought I’d be staying in today since it’s Sunday, and plus the fact I haven’t got much rest. But I guess there’s no rest for the incurably curious, eternally entertainment-seeking me. All it took was one SMS from Ee Laine to get me to go to the Clayton Community Festival to meet her. It’s a yearly event and Clayton road next to the Clayton railway station is closed to traffic. Stalls are lined up along both sides selling things from scarfs to schnitzels, free rides are given to kids, and there are cultural performances. The atmosphere was buzzing with a kaleidoscope of sound and colour.. indeed amazing.. I got sidetracked for a pretty long while in an unbelievably well-stocked asian grocery. I squealed when I saw they sold the glass noodles that I like, and most importantly, my magic ace-the-exam potion of Brand’s Chicken Essence. One thing I find different about myself is that I’m gettin increasingly keen to cook. A thing that my granny has been trying to get me to do, apparently to train myself for my husband in the future (yucks). Though I’ve always figured that my husband would love me for who I am, through burnt fried rice and soggy noodles.

Am feeling better nowadays, with less of the i-wanna-go-home-now-now-now thoughts assaulting my mind everytime I have nothing to do. Amazing how the human mind can be if we used it to think and convince ourselves that 4 months is not a very long time. Life can be very beautiful if just try to focus on the good.

Let’s drink to that. To happy days and fun-filled nights. Here’s to the rest of our lives.

Cheers.

Ahhah! I have reached the two-week mark of my stay here in Melbourne. Forgive me for sounding so much like a wet blankie, but those who are new overseas and alone will no doubt share my point of view. This two week thing is a whole benchmark, along with the one-month point, and following that, monthly benchmarks until end of June. Although according to most of the people I talk to, I’ll forget about this benchmark crap by the end of March.

Remembering what Ben Han told me before I left Msia (besides asking me to get a handphone for him) Jak, Syed and I went to Collingwood on Thursday, with the specific aim of visiting Smith St. It was bargain hunter’s heaven there, with brands like Fila, Roxy, Nike and Adidas going for well below market prices. Although I think you should give it a miss if you’re the picky sort who never buys anything that is more than two seasons old. I shopped, but I figure my blog is gonna look like a shopping list so I’d rather not write it down.

Ended up having dinner with Yvonne that evening at Chadstone. Yeah. Again. Friday was an extremely sweltering day which happened to coincide with the International Big Day Out at the Melbourne Zoo. I didn’t get to see a KOALA! Most of the animals were obviously smarter, unlike us, they knew better than to go about strutting their asses under the roasting sun. Moreover the damn zoo was undergoing some major refurbishing work so some animals were taken off display. BLEH. No exotic animals in sight. It got to the point where I was excited even to see a giant tortoise.

Anyway, nothing else much to say. I mean, a zoo IS a zoo IS a zoo. I’m not gonna say I’m too old for zoos because I did enjoy watching the seals and also the giant tortoise. But for crap’s sake next time fill your zoo with more animals. Please.

It was back to Caulfield campus’s hall for all 5 busloads of Monash students where the only highlight worth mentioning is the bush dance they taught us. Melody said Stella said she got some shots of me, I quote, ’shaking my booty’, but I havent seen them yet. I figure they’re gonna look akin to a whale doing the hula so I shall spare you guys the trauma and just not post it up.

However, I’m determined to learn to dance. Stella, Isha I will follow you guys to salsa class on Wed with the aim of reducing the way I look while dancing from a whale to probably a seal.

Almost all of us at 958 Dandenong Road just went out for the ritualistic trudge to 7-Eleven for ice cream in the middle of a cool windless February night. My turn to belanja. 6 people went. Pengsan. Last time only 4 ppl went. Betul rugi.

So I was telling Priyank about my first window-shopping, drool-extracting, awe-inducing trip to Chadstone. He asked what I bought and I said "Nothing". To which he promptly shouted that I had just broke the Law of Chaddy. Like, huh? Apparently, around here, people who go to Chadstone must leave with something they bought. Not what they got free, like me and my complimentary Chadstone magazine.  

Wasn’t til I got home that I realized I did buy something. It was just too small that I forgot about it. Wallah!

They’re erasers. One looks like a pink Polo mint and the other is a peach. Got them from Smiggles. A really adorable accessories shop in Chadstone. So I didn’t break the Law of Chaddy after all. Cost me 1.50 altogether. Hah! *giggle*

Today at orientation I was considered one of the newbie crowd of first-years. For the first time since A Levels, I got to feel how it was to be a new student again. Monash orientation didn’t count as I only attended the first 3 hours of it. Most students were shy, hung out in their little groups dotted around the foyer, others were overbearingly loud. I observed the MONSU people conducting the games, and I must say, us in Msia certainly are comparable to them. Our prizes are better, our games include more people, but MONSU has more outspoken, daring, sociable individuals to hype up the crowd. Now I’m not saying we MUSA council were some bloody wallflowers, but these MONSU people beat us flat in that area,ok. Since I had bloody nothing to do, I decided to follow Ming to some Study Skills workshop for 3 hours. Heck I didn’t even go for the Study Skills crap when I was in my first year, and here I am, a 3rd year, sitting through ‘how to write your assignment clearly, to the point…" etc etc. Needless to say, I dozed off for awhile. Only woke up when the lady in front asked us to introduce ourselves to the people on our left and right, the dude sitting on my left was like, "er.. hi, I’m Ian"

After all that was done with, we went in search of the Asian grocery I saw on my 1st night in Melbourne. Heaven, I now have the bak kut teh spices I’ve been hunting for. And the specific brand of korean ramen I eat, the only one that makes me feel truly satisfied after every meal. Tonight is the 3rd night I’ve been cooking. I attempted fried rice. It wasn’t all that great though, and I blame it on the paste. Not enough chilli in it. Hmph. And the fishballs weren’t that great either. (inner voice: no actually its a case of ‘bad needlewoman blaming her needle’ but I’m not gonna admit it)

I have watched my first movie in Melbourne, despite all my vows to not pay so much for a measly normal ticket that could have got me into Gold Class back in Malaysia. Yesterday was half price promotion at Chadstone, and Yvonne and I decided it mustve been fate that brought us to Chadstone on a Tuesday, and hence made the fairly logical conclusion that we were fated to watch a movie. No, actually we were bored shitless, and looking for any way to spend our time. (and shopping was not an option, as we do not want to run out of money before our term is over) Yeah we’re not some bunch of brainless kooks that spend all their study grant on some 500 dollar coat. Although I MUST say I saw a really delicious one in Armani. Speaking of Armani, Yvonne really made my day when she said that there was some place near her house in Preston that could do alterations. Well, now I’ve a place to bring my pants to be fixed. I cannot live in jeans and trekkies forever.

The bloody skin on my left cheek is peeling. You should see the thick globs of moisturiser i put on every day! It’s still not working… it looks like I have, what do you call the situation where your skin is so red and dotty (though its not pimples)? Skin apnea, panacea, rosacea…oh f**king hernia! i don’t knowwwwww…………

You know how people say it’s the small things that matter. For a person who’s living overseas, completely cut off from all that is familiar, that phrase has never been truer. She needs you to keep your word.. to put into the relationship what she puts in. Ever since she’s been here, she couldn’t help but feel that she was doing most of the work of keeping in touch, calling, SMS-ing so many times (to which sumtimes she doesn’t get a reply), and yesterday was the last straw. A text message will do. Just a short one to say you’re busy, you can’t make it to chat with her, would at least put her mind at rest. That’s all she’s asking for. Not for you to drop everything to be by her side, not for you to put her first in everything… but just a simple SMS. She never thought the day would come where a guy could influence such strong emotions in her. She fought to not lose too much of her heart to him. She lost. And look now where it’s gotten her.

Perhaps there is a lesson to be learnt in this. She will wait and see.

So I was at St Kilda beach yesterday. It took us twice the time to get there as we were unfamiliar with the tram routes; ended up taking a longer route. There was a Sunday market at the Esplanade that I wanted to see.. turned out to be kind of like the one I went to when I was staying at Aunt Mabel’s in Gold Coast. Yvonne and I plan to buy some paintings to bring back, we were discussing logistic issues on how to transport 3 canvases of paintings measuring 6 by 3 feet back to Malaysia. Saw Luna Park, then lost interest after 20 minutes as our stomachs were growling. Went to a place called Banjo’s Bakehouse and sat on the upstairs patio for brunch. Enjoyed a wholesome, hearty meal of pancakes, eggs Benedict, toasted bread and ice chocolate…

AUMMMM!! i always eat the whipped cream first.. want a piece of heaven?

We strolled to the beach after that, where I immediately regretted my decision to wear shorts and fitted tee. Well, I thought a beach would be like, i dunno, HOT! But I nearly froze my joints in that 20 minute jaunt there.

See even my smile is frozen.. with stella, isha and yvonne on st kilda beach pier. Well I think the Esplanade market is really filled with lots of interesting things; pretty little crystal windchimes that glisten in the sunlight, exquisite crystal jewellery boxes, colourful paintings.. if I have money left over at the end of the term, I’d like to buy a painting for my room in Melaka.

Got home really bushed from all the walking I did, but Priyank, Minny, and the rest talked me into playing tennis. At 8pm, with the winds blowing colder than the Arctic circle, it was a mind-numbing experience. And a joint-numbing one too. They were so sore, I had to rub Counterpain before I could sleep yesterday night.

Thanks to the whole Sunday outing yesterday, I woke up late this morning for my meetup with Yvonne. Well, it was ok, since she woke up late too. I pottered around the house abit, trying to make up my mind whether I should do my laundry today or tomorrow, ended up deciding on the latter, and subsequently plopping myself on the sofa with a huge bowl of cereal. I feel my appetite coming back. I think it was the tennis.

I successfully used an EFTPOS machine today! Being a total technophobic freak (with the exception of internet and webcamming) i’ve always avoided using electronic means of handling my money. Til I ended up in Coles today with a huge basket of groceries, and only 10 roos (haha i call aussie dollars roos) in my purse.

Today was a day of many firsts. I cooked my first official meal in my kitchen. Cannot count yesterday as it was just Maggi Mee. So I made ‘mien fen gao’ .. in KL terms ‘pan mee’. Ming was like " Are you baking something??" when she saw me kneading the dough. Michael said something like its a miracle to see me cooking. Anyway, nonsense aside, there was only one little blight to this otherwise jolly day. I read my friend’s blog, and found out she and her bf of 3 years plus had broken up, after a long distance r’ship. Somehow I felt sad. Why, when you love someone so, do you still have to break up with them? Why, sometimes, does love fail to conquer all? I’m an outward cynic, but a closet romantic. I live for the moment where I feel myself fall.. hopelessly in love beyond all redemption.. but I spend 3/4 of my life holding myself back, protecting myself, keeping my distance.. does it have something to do with survival instinct i wonder? If I kept falling in love with every bloke that said something nice to me/cared for me but was totally wrong, I’d be pretty suicidal right now. Anyway back to my friend’s breakup. Why do people invest so much, only to break up? Why even invest in the first place? Puzzling it may seem to those who are happily unattached, but the dividends those investments pay over their duration make it worth twice its weight in gold.

You have someone to support you when you fall, even if you rarely do. There is someone who witnesses your life, your achievements.. of the billions of people in the world, there is a witness to YOUR life. There is someone to cuddle under the covers with the rain pattering outside. Someone who shares their ice cream with you when you don’t like the flavour of yours. Who holds you close when you’re stone drunk after a night out drinking, and keeps you safe.

So I wonder sometimes.. why must people go out and jeopardize the ‘investment’ by cheating on their partners? Don’t you feel guilty? How can you sleep at night knowing you betrayed the trust of the person who loves you heart and soul … Can you return to their arms and pretend that you’ve not changed a bit, when in fact, you have known another person’s touch? I leave you with that thought for the day.

Just how I thought it would be. A lot of ups, but there are also downs. And for once in my whole life, I’m experiencing it. Don’t I just sound confusing? Well, here goes. Don’t all of us, at one point in time or another, feel that we just can’t cope with our surroundings? That we somehow feel so estranged from that which is familiar and comforting? That somehow, in a sea of people, you can still be terribly alone? My first week in Melbourne is almost over. The days after my last post have seen me going from sheer joy of discovering new experiences, to wishing like hell I was back in Malaysia. Apparently, we go through it at certain times. But I can tell you, this is a real first for me. Or second, if you want to count the time I came up from Melaka to KL to start my A Levels. I somehow thought, being 22 and free of emotional rollercoasters, with the ability to talk the hind legs off a donkey and a sociable character, would enable me to slip into a comfortable life here.

I was only partially right. Meaning I’m partially wrong, too, depending on how you view it. I pretty much talked to a lot of people, went out, had fun, but somehow, I feel I’ve yet to truly, truly settle down and find my niche here. There are always people to mix with, to club with, to study with, to cook dinner with, but somehow I feel the key to really settling down, is to settle my issues with myself. Like how I deal with being alone. Like how I view things. Like what I plan to do with my time here. But I guess it will all fall into place naturally. As Life always does.

My first drinking session has come and gone, leaving a memory that induces a bit of nausea when I think about it. Not that it sucked, it was fun while it lasted, but I really cannot remember a time I drank quite a bit and YET, still not get utterly drunk. It was at Nott, apparently some local clayton students hangout.. and since I couldnt travel back to caulfield, I bunked at Joleen’s place in the Halls. Yesterday was the welcome dinner for exchange students at Red Scooter, and I can say, it was extremely well organized, from an organizer’s POV. Wished like hell i could find such places in Msia last time for O-Nite.

This is Ken from Tokyo, Japan. He enlightened me on Jap girls:- Not all are kawaii, and most all are fashion conscious.

Becky from Norway. Really nice girl, we found out we both like that Norwegian Idol dude who won World Idol, for the life of me, I cant remember his name.

Most of us who went clubbing at FrostBitezz on Chapel St later that night. That’s Melody who’s going to Gippsland, Mick from Heidelberg, Germany (he was surprised I knew where it was, haha since I know Mannheim I would know Heidelberg seeing as theyre two hours apart) and Adam from USA. The music at the club was totally different from what I’m used to in Malaysia, but then again, music can transcend language, and the beat is pretty similar..but Mick and I agreed that nothing can beat RNB anyway. We left the club at about 130, making plans to contact each other should anyone find a good place for RnB… here’s Melody, Stella and I chilling along Chapel St before taking the cab home..

At times like this, you think life can’t get any better..but then, you reach home, and suddenly you realize "Oh shit I’m in Melbourne, wat the hell am i gonna do now?" and then have a wheezy panic attack. Well I did some thinking while lazing and chatting with Eric on the grass of Queen Victoria gardens today. Whether I am happy or not in Melbourne, totally depends on myself. Whether I make and keep friends, also depends on me. So I can choose to moan and groan about how I miss nasi lemak sotong and my maid doing my laundry and Jason being around, OR, i can choose to be excited about going to St Kilda beach tomorrow, wonder in expectation about the Lion King I’m going to watch with E Wei at Regent Theatre next week and the Great Ocean Trip with Syed…. Yup things are going to be better, I tell myself. (right after that, I realize I’m sitting a few feet away from some cat poo on the grass) What else can one do, but move on, and on… and see where life takes you.

Ending the post slightly cheerier than when i first started… Off to continue reading the Colin Forbes book I got while poking around a secondhand bookstore in a basement along Swanston St.

Yes, I am rather miffed. Countless do-no-gooders have been happily announcing it to me over the course of today, and of course, all of them would be having a nice dinner with their partners right now. I vowed to stay in today, so as to avoid bumping into those moony couples, and also to avoid looking at roses or chocolates altogether. Why the aversion? you ask. Okay. This is the first time I’m not celebrating V-Day though I’m in a relationship. Ever since I was 13, I’ve been on a date every V-Day, except for when I was 15, 17, and 18. Forgive me for being out of the spirit ok.. So I tried my best to sleep as much of the day, but then again, there’s only so much one can sleep. Lucky Yvonne called and I went out to meet her and her parents at the train station and we walked around campus.

In contrast, yesterday was a pretty interesting day. Opened my bank account at Caulfield Plaza’s Commonwealth Bank, before going to the city to meet Eric at Flinders Station. I had to wait again, as that dude was still at Melbourne Zoo when I arrived. While waiting I saw this standing tall and proud in the distance:-

aahh.. memories flood back. Suddenly I’m back at the EY Hotdesking Area again… NOTTT!! What would it be like to work in EY Melbourne? i wonder

Anyway, once Eric arrives, we go to a Jap place for lunch. After that, we walk around the shops where i get a light jumper and bottles of bath gel on sale, 4 for 10 bucks. I’m always like this. I cannot resist those 3 for 9.99 or 1 for 5, 2 for 8 kinda discounts. A few pics…

I actually wanted to pose with St Paul’s church in the background, but this is what dominated the picture instead. Great. Now everyone will be too busy looking at the ambulance. Instead of me. Or the church.

Apparently this is like the oldest train station in melbourne. I think. Flinders. Note the quaint little clocks. Funny, when u see it in Flinders, you say its quaint. But when you see it in granny’s kitchen, it’s such an outdated, grimy, musty clock. It all depends on perspective.

So we wander around Federation Square, across Princes Bridge, til we come to the National Gallery.. I wanted to see if they had any of those Andy Warhol postcards I got from moca (museum of contemporary art) in Los Angeles, cause I bought some from moca, and I want some more of his. I’m collecting these postcards, not those touristy ones you get like pics of places and all.. but art pictures. When I get my own place in a few years, I’m going to hang them from a metal wire like a washing line from my ceiling. Well the National Gallery’s shop had a lot of everything, but not what I wanted. Though I ended up with a few other postcards of Impressionist paintings. And when I make my millions as a hedge fund manager, I’m going to buy the real thing to put on my wall. haha. So, no postcards, but I took a picture..

We went across the road to the queen victoria gardens after that to chill out and I took the tram home. -end of day 3-

Today was not as eventful as yesterday, but who knows what will happen? I’m going over to Syed’s and Jak’s for dinner in awhile, and something interesting might happen. Maybe we might see the world’s fattest housefly. I’m bringing my camera just in case.

Woke up at 230pm. So that was half my day gone. But then Steve called and asked me if I wanted to go to the Melbourne Motor Show in the city. Being open to anything, I went.

That’s one of the few cars I recognize cos my neighbour in KL had a red one… hv always wondered what it felt like so…

I got in.. ok.. not bad.. but nobody can beat Merc when it comes to comfy seats.. Here’s a few babies so precious that they had to erect barriers to keep dirty hands off them..

That was Melbourne motor show ..

———-continued post dinner at Jak’s————–

Jak can cook. Lucky you, Su ann.. Watched Double Jeopardy abit at their place then went back home to watch the rest of it cos it was really late. Then Priyank, Michael, Minny and I went to 7-Eleven, got icecreams and went to the park and ate them. Mind you, the wind was blowing, my teeth were chattering (forgot to wear a jacket) and I had to lick a Paddle Pop. But it was an amazing experience. I’d sure like to try that again when winter comes. In Malaysian lingo, ‘damn steam‘.