18 til I Die

and pretty soon, it will be time to muster up enough courage to login to my student portal to check the blasted results for Sem 2, 2005. They could go two ways; either blasted to kingdom come or blasted to the heavens. It always is in the ‘extremes’ with me, I always thought ‘the curse of mediocrity’ is one of the worst afflictions of mankind. Hence, this is demonstrated by my ability to get 3 distinctions and 1 HD in one semester, or spectacularly fail my Grade 7 piano exam with the examiner commenting that I wasn’t even up to Grade 6 standard. Technically, I didn’t fail. But he simply refused to grade me, saying it was an insult for him to do so, and showed me the door.

Or the time in secondary school where I could get 80 plus percent in Kemahiran Hidup and then one month in class test, get only 5 percent. Haha. However, knowing that spectacular disappointments will detract from my so-carefully constructed CV, I’ve tried to lessen considerably my drastic performance in that end of the spectrum.

Reading back on my last post, I think I sounded like I was swimming in a pool of rage. I don’t usually get like that, unless it justifies the occasion. And giving the reasons below, I think it is fully justified. I don’t want to grow up to be a citizen who is inflicted by the ‘tidak apa’ attitude so prevalent in Malaysia right now. I don’t know for sure, but I can’t be the only one. I’m pretty sure there is a bunch of young 20 sumthings in uni or either recently graduated who are just as dissatisfied as I am, and who, pls wake up government, will be registering to vote in the next elections. What in the world will u do to target us, I wonder? Rmb Maslow’s hierarchy of needs? We’re well on our way to having our physical needs (material needs) satisfied. And when that’s fulfilled, its to spiritual or more abstract stuff like values, morals….

You know, reading about politics yesterday made me remember the MUSA elections held not so long ago. Of course, it is but a fragment of what is going on in Pengkalan Pasir right now, but the euphoria and tenseness are of the same type. Awhile ago, I did think of running for elections, but then when I re-examined myself, I found out that.. I actually wanted to run just for the sake of running, the thrill of taking on competition. And that is the wrong reason to run. So, I didn’t. Yoon Yeau casually remarked the other day that we should join politics together, he is torn between joining MCA or Gerakan (his dad is Gerakan). And that got me thinking… if i ever do, which party should I join? Hahahaha…. I know the answer already. But God forbid that I tell.

Anyway, my sad blog is rather picture-less. So here are some of Elaine’s one month early birthday dinner at Saisaki, a Japanese buffet place in Wisma UOA near KLCC on Friday.

<——- we swiped half the tray of konnyaku jelly and stuffed each other silly

<——- it takes an effort to smile when a whole load of konnyaku and sushi is threatening to come up the wrong way

<——– me and the soon-to-be-birthday-girl-in-one-month’s-time Elaine

(I actually tried to post these two together as one large post but then all my posts disappeared. lucky i had the foresight to copy to Word otherwise I wouldnt be bothered to repost)

You don’t have any opinion on this? Go read. You’re prolly gonna turn 21 soon, or will be in a couple of years, which means you’re gonna be eligible to vote. Unless you’d prefer to sit on the fence which means decide to do nothing, which interestingly, IS a decision in itself. Albeit a really useless one… I mean, you can rant and rave about issues, yet when it comes to taking a stand, to really being able to influence outcomes (by voting, lah) you don’t do it?? Our DPM, who used to be Education Minister, wanted an education system that produces students who think. Yet, contradictingly, he said that we don’t want a system that produces students who go overseas and criticise our country. Again, if it wasn’t on such a depressingly serious issue as the state of our education system (which is, after the sheer embarassment of the UM ranking issue, a total laughing stock and a mess) I’d be laughing it off as the joke of the day. Products of the education system who successfully are able to think, would be able to see the rot in our nation (e.g the slide of our universities ranking, the non-competitiveness of Proton which after so long the infant industry argument still justifies protectionism, the under-utilizaton of our grand airport with an equally pathetic baggage delivery system, the disgraceful position of our national airline carrier who reported mega losses recently no doubt due to oil prices but also to inefficient HR systems, the disgusting delivery system of our government departments like APs, not to mention the rot of corruption), and frankly, since our freedom of speech is kinda hampered by serious ramifications on those who speak out in this country, where else better to speak out than overseas, where they will not be prosecuted, their businesses not affected…. 

I can’t wait for the next election. Watch me, I’ll vote. Ok, on to item number 2.

2. Of course not as earth-shaking as issue no. 1, but still, you nvr know when such knowledge will come in handy. A couple of bits and pieces. Ever heard of Robert Mugabe,

Zimbabwe

’s leader? The one who successfully drove his country down rankings in many areas, like health, corruption, crime yada yada? The one who is so in trouble with IMF? Yeah, well, so what do you think when you find out that Tun Dr Mahathir (yes the one and only) visited the guy and got a tour of Mugabe’s in-construction million-dollar mansion, being built with some valuable timber supplied from Malaysia, paid for by the Malaysian Government? Which means, by us, lah. Wait, not by me, yet. But yeah, my mom and the people who pay taxes.

Then hor, there is one thing I read, hor, haha ok ill stop that. Ok. Read it off Malaysia Today that even UMNO people were thinking that Dr Mahathir HAD to go, he was overstaying his welcome, and if he led the party into 2004 elections, sure habis kena sapu by opposition. Maybe with a new leader at the helm, we orang-orang masyarakat would prolly think, oh give BN another chance la, new leader, maybe got new tricks, can benefit us, also. Much still remains to be desired. Then there’s the AP issue, I know I know, exhausted to death by now. Really funny, how Dr Mahathir turned on the Minister Rafidah like that. From early on, it was the situation where he was the greatest ally of hers, so why the about turn? Well, apparently, semua pun tahu Dr M has major interests in Proton. And Rafidah had stepped on his toes. Not because she gave out APs to cronies ke apa, but the fact that the APs issue greatly affected the profitability of Proton.

Politics huh? Where nobody is your friend. Where you could have the greatest ally and greatest enemy in the same person. Where years of reputation take only days to destroy (take Minister Rafidah’s example, for her tenure, FDI increased drastically but yet who remembers that now). Where you have to choose your battles carefully.

I’m thinking now. Yup, PepsiCo oughta pay me for the copyrights to this blog title. The thirst for knowledge never stops.

Yeah I do think I sound like an ad for PepsiCo or Coke, but frankly, it’s nothing to do with that. After but 2 weeks or so after I finished my exams and swore I’d not do anything even close to studying for the next 3 months, yesterday saw me breaking that vow. Yeah, I’m kinda not that good at keeping my resolutions, especially about studying (whether to study or not to study) and food (self-explanatory). First started off with ‘Investments’, a textbook for my subject in Caulfield next semester, but I got pretty tired of reading it once I reached the ‘asset allocation’ chapter. There’s always next year to read it. What followed was frankly more interesting.

A few hours visit to Jeff Ooi’s blog (http://jeffooi.blogspot.com), Seputeh DAP MP Teresa Kok (http://teresakok.blogsome.com), Lim Kit Siang (http://blog.limkitsiang.com) and Malaysia Today (www.malaysia-today.net) gave me a couple of really interesting insights into all things Malaysian politics, an issue which I’ve either been righteously indignant about (police corruption, human rights) or plain indifferent (Anwar case, hey I was Form 2 only, all that concerned me at that time was whether mom would let me go to the cinema on Fridays)

So… what did yours truly learn, then?? Nicer to number it, otherwise confusion may arise.

1. The latest hot topic on the MMS video clip catching a Malaysian female police officer making a girl do squats naked, in full Abu Ghraib glory. What PR crap I got from TheStar Online, I found out in more detail from Teresa Kok’s blog, Lim Kit Siang’s blog and even BBC online (www.bbc.co.uk) Two really mentionable insights are the Deputy Prime Minister’s statement saying that "strip-searching was not part of the procedures to examine those held under police custody" (http://thestar.com.my/news/story.asp?file=/2005/11/26/nation/12699234&sec=nation) whereas the Deputy Inspector General of Police Datuk Seri Musa Hassan said that it was procedure that detainees could be asked to strip and be searched before being sent to the lockup(http://thestar.com.my/news/story.asp?file=/2005/11/26/nation/12706088&sec=nation) For those who read all of TheStar Online’s coverage on 26 Nov (Sat) would probably have noticed this. The second issue of note here is that, yesterday, after reading the above blogs, the general opinion of the bloggers and the commentors was that, the police would probably focus all efforts on catching the guy who filmed the MMS and not prosecute the policewoman in the video clip. If it weren’t such a serious matter stinking of the arrogantly purposeful ignorance of PDRM, I’d have laughed my ass off when I saw, just minutes ago, the theory being proven correct. (http://www.thestar.com.my/news/story.asp?file=/2005/11/27/nation/12708062&sec=nation) "Police To Go After Person Who Filmed Naked Woman"

is boldly emblazoned on the article headline. Now our PDRM is standing behind the woman police officer, whose statement WE, the citizens, have not heard yet. Heck we don’t even know who she is. Pretty stark contrast to the Abu Ghraib controversy, where we all know who Lynddie England is.

(at least I think that’s her name) Just a little thought that came into my mind. If that person filming that MMS was such a porno crazy fella, why bother to film the police woman in the first place? Might as well zoom in on the naked girl’s tits, lah. Unless of course, the REAL intention was to film an injustice committed by the people sworn to protect us. You know what, I really pity the scapegoat whose gonna die in place of the filmer, if the police can’t find the real person who filmed it. Which I guess they most probably will fail to do so, since inefficiency is their middle name. Just a side note: how many people receive followup reports (be it successful in catching the bad guy or not) on the minor break-ins or robberies they lodge? Not many… I doubt any case would receive such police effort unless the PM or the DPM gave express pressure.. i mean, shouldn’t any case be done with full responsibility and not have to wait for the big shots to request that you do so, speedily, without any cover-ups? In almost every high-profile case, we will SURELY see that some big shot or another (maybe PM or DPM) will say that they have expressly requested the police force to investigate the matter or some PR shit to that effect, designed to just show the people they are doing something about it. But in this case, is going after the person who filmed the MMS the RIGHT thing to do??

a flash of serendipity… that moment when you know all is right, when you trust and are trusted.. the phase where u know both of you are all right, no matter what happens..

I first used to believe in love at first sight.. it now is the greatest controversy in the name of love, in my opinion.. those are just childish crushes, feverish heart flutterings that I’ve put behind me. I used to like this guy.. at that time I was just consumed by thoughts of him.. I wasn’t myself when he was around. It took me a year or so to forget him, but I did. And that’s when I learnt the difference between love and a desperate crush. When Nick (now my ex) sat by my bed and calmed me back to sleep after I woke up crying from my nightmares, that was love. When I used to tell the worst jokes in hopes HE found me funny, that was just a crush.

I know for some the ‘love at first sight’ phenomenon does occur, but to me its a kinda hormonal thing.. i dunno. Ever watched the movie ‘Serendipity’? There was a time when I longed for something like that to happen, but then I learnt that serendipity can occur even if youre together with someone.. And that’s what I’m trying to get at today.

Even if you’re in a relationship, seeing someone, it doesn’t have to be boring, in fact, it shouldn’t be. I’m a confessed sentimental.. lover of all things corny and sweet.. esp if its said/done by someone I love… ya.. bet ya din noe that.. always tot im dis loud-mouthed ass-wipe, did ya? hahahaha…..

Sorry I’m acting a bit weird today.. I am FEELING weird.. brain excreted too much lovey dovey hormones… plus i read this post … http://zique76.multiply.com/journal/item/4?last_read=1&mark_read=zique76:journal:4  Go on people.. Just don’t burst into sobs like I did.

Woke up this Friday morning to find my tail light smashed. I’d parked it opposite my house yesterday next to the house with the RX7. And behind me was a Proton also belonging to that house. I didn’t realize it until Jason told me when I picked him from the hostel… and that’s when my day started to suck. Whined all the way to Jason’s workplace, then cursed all the way back. I went back to the spot where I parked the car but I couldn’t find any remnants. I mean like, duh, which idiot would smash your tail lights and leave the scraps there.. it would practically be an invitation to knock the lights out of his. Anyway, I’m thinking it could have been broken when it was parked near Zen’s house yesterday.. because when I got in the car, I didn’t check to see if my lights were ok, cos it was really dark in that area. And don’t expect Shirley to have noticed anything, cos she was nodding off by the time we left at 11.

Oh curse you, you uncivilised bastard. You prickheaded moron (i don’t care if you’re a guy or girl) with a neuron-deprived brain! I know I’ll never find you.. you could either be my neighbour or one of Zen’s friends, but may the worst luck befall you and attach itself to you doggedly for the rest of this millenium and next. Wish I could say more, but it would just be repeating myself, so I’ll stick to this general curse.

Now what do I tell my mom? I’m gonna sound like a cowardly child who broke mom’s favourite vase but wouldn’t admit it. Although this time, it really isn’t my fault.

I guess I’ll have to pay to replace it myself. Cry!! I think I’ll have to starve. Nobody step on my toes today. I swear I’ll  BITE you.

HAH!!! Knew I’d get your attention…. lalala.. Anyway, this really is about exposed nipples. Jason and I were in Pizza Hut, and these 3 Malay girls walked in. And J started gawping at this particular girl with long flowy hair wearing a tight white tee and … ooohhh.. no bra… her hard brown nipples were sticking out of her tee. And then I got jealous because her boobs were perkier than MINE. And I couldn’t stop staring.

A little while later, they got up to leave, and thats when i noticed something weird.. I told Jason about it, and he was like "Are you sure?" And then the waiter comes up to us with the pizza, and we didn’t even clear the plates to make way for the pizza, we were STILL STARING, trying to figure it out…. The waiter made a noise and I realized, poor guy was still standing there…. and I said, "Oh sorry, we were distracted by the … " And then the waiter leans down, and whispers "Yeah, its a guy.." 

Ahhhaahh! I get a chance to use this phrase I rarely use ever since I met J. Triumphantly, I announce, "I TOLD you so."

Then I went on and on about how a bra-less breast would have to defy all laws of physics just to look that perky, and there is no way a natural breast would look like that. Plastic surgery is so.. PLASTIC. Anywayz, J resumes staring at them walking out of the joint, and then turns to me and announces that he doesn’t think it was plastic surgery but it was a fake boob. Somehow attached to the guy’s chest.

At this point we get so disgusted, we stop analyzing it.

A blazer. EY sent me a business dress code list today, and after comparing all my clothes to it, about 1/2 of them got thrown out. And horror if i wear my dark blue pants I have to pair it with a dark blue or black blazer. Not my beige one. This means… yeah.. I need to get a new blazer. And while im at it, 2 of my pants got disqualified cos they are drawstring pants. Either I get new pants as well, or I tuck the strings inside.. gahahahaha that would look awful…

Was at Midvalley just now to exchange my Miss Selfridge jeans.. it was too big for me when I tried it on at home. And I actually know the reason why. I bought that jeans when I was having my period… and I usually bloat up like a balloon during those times. And naturally I didnt tell the salesperson that… haha..

Huei Ying and I had a spot of lunch, and the kind and patient dear walked around with me while I tried to find some more tops for the office. And that was when I chanced upon such an exquisitely tailored jacket in Zara that I nearly wept. Yeah.. it costs 500 bucks, equivalent of my one month’s intern pay.

guards does it take to repair a coin-automated parking machine? Three. One to bark out needless instructions, and the other two to stare at the skinny Chinese mechanic repairing it. What a sight it was at the Sunway carpark just now. And it was drizzling. Such thirst for knowledge is commendable.

To both J’s actually. Am up early this Monday morning cos I sent J to his first day at work in the engineering consulting firm in Phileo Damansara. Met Maurice and Sue at the hostel side gate and dropped Maurice off at Esso where he headed for the bus station. (first day of work too!) Took the opportunity to test out the road going to EY, directions courtesy of Oliver. My week of major shopping culminated yesterday in Midvalley with the purchase of a pair of Miss Selfridge jeans, and another totally not needed pair of knickers which I threw in cos I wanted to get the membership card. Oh and I got a faux diamond choker from Selfridge too, when Hui and I were in Pyramid earlier for lunch, which kinda ended up as a shopping outing as well haha.

Anyway, it’s back to MUSA later for me to tie up a few loose ends, before going to sort out my affairs for Australia. May go back to Melaka this Friday. After spending so much, I feel like holing up at home, where I can easily get by with only 5 ringgit for the whole weekend. (enough for a few trips to 7-11 for midnight snacks, other meals catered for)

that I ought to be living all the time but I can’t due to work constraints, ECA pressures, monetary restrictions.. however, I told myself that at the beginning of this week none of that would matter.. and I would enjoy it to the fullest. And wow.. It really has been a FULL week…

Was at One Utama the whole day today.. assisting Jason in getting his office attire and boy we trekked around the WHOLE mall.. the place is big so its quite a big deal..

But the wonderful lunch at Italianni’s kinda made up for it tho.. and I couldn’t resist succumbing to the need to purchase something.. anything.. that I grabbed 2 knickers from Topshop as J was paying for his own stuff..

Yeah.. I noe.. I’ve spent a lot.. Have withdrawn 750 bucks and im down to 200.. shit just typing the amount freaks me out.. and I havent gotten much to show for it.. I think most of it went to clubbing, eating, petrol and all.. hish.

By the way, an email came through from Monash Abroad just now and I got thru the exchange application! So its Australia for me next sem.. yay! Now I can seriously think about getting that delish knee length coat I tried on in Topshop just now…